Welcome to a Website!

My name's Clove!

I mean, I'm not Clove. I'm a website. Clover Jean Gardener is a writing generalist based out of Portland, Oregon. They've written a variety of fiction and non-fiction work for the stage and page since around 2015.


Clove has worked in the past as a copywriter, ghostwriter, freelance arts columnist, playwright and director. In their free time they enjoy such wholesome hobbies as baking, doodling, and amateur necromancy - though so far they can only give sentience to websites.


it's fine, though. i feel fine about it.

*side effects of contacting author and artist clover jean gardener include confusion, mild frustration, existential uncertainty, and wizard's curse. please do not contact clover jean gardener if you have a family history of ending up like that guy in julio cortazar's short story "axolotl". ask your doctor before contacting clover jean gardener. i don't think a doctor will have any opinion on the matter, but it's a conceptually funny thing to imagine someone doing.

Development Timeline of the Clover

A baby clove photo, as seen cut to fit inside a Christmas ornament.

Clove, Pre-Alpha

Early concepts of Clove were admittedly sub-par. The endoskeletal structure was inefficient and the ability to control bowel movements was lacking. But the initial working concept of Clove already managed to achieve two long-term goals: a general look of haunted befuddlement, and mild pyrokinesis.

Clover Gardener, age 18, torching a corded telephone to act as a prop for a theatrical performance.

Clove MK I

The initial Alpha of Clove showed remarkable improvement in cognitive ability. Their amount of bones reached a satisfactory range. Despite no longer being able to manifest fire with their mind, they managed to find tools that did the same thing about as efficiently.





Clover Gardener, age 28, eating salad out of the bag in the woods.

Clove MK II (Current Model)

The current model of Clove has maintained a reasonable amount of bones. Their internal level of psychological angst has become essentially regulated - thanks, in part, to a new fuel source of mainly apples and sparkling water. This era of Clove has now reached untold capacities of being able to Imagine a Horse That's Having A Great Day.

A cropped screenshot of the sasquatch from the 1967 Patterson–Gimlin film.

Looking Forward: Clove MK III?

Listen - listen. I'm not saying it's likely. I'm just saying there's a chance.















Accusations

these people have no idea what they're talking about. i want my lawyer. i'm not saying anything else until i see my lawyer.

"When we were eighteen and nineteen you roundhouse kicked me in the head and I never emotionally, physically, or financially recovered."

Blanchy

Artist, and person who spends too much time standing near boxes people might want to kick as a goof

"You did three consecutive backflips over my favorite convenience store and broke the air conditioning."

Arri

Writer, laughable vertical leap

"You bought a black market time machine and collapsed two timelines, ruining my credit score and creating a new Jurrasic Park reboot."

Clover Jean Gardener

Superfluous Doppleganger

"I accuse you of stealing public property in the form of rocks from the center of twelve different potholes across Portland."

Ren

Writer who buys their rocks from the store like an absolute idiot